Time means little under the shade of this bougainvillea porch at the side of a lonely road in Sant Joan. Eclectic rogues gesticulate, smoke, share stories and gather advice. It makes me want to learn Spanish just to earwig a little. All of the real island scoops are in these laughs and animated pats. Let’s go inside. Continue reading
And when I’m watchin the news,
and my daughter walks in,
And choose to ask,
“Why were all those people on the floor
sleepin’, covered in red?”
I told her that they were lookin’ for God, but found religion instead.
De La Soul (feat. Cee-Lo)
Held Down
AOI Bionix (2001)
What phrase have I re-spurted over and over, most incessantly and Tourette-like, over the last two months? It’s a toss up. It’s either, ‘Radiantly Alive’, the centre where Collette has been bending and meditating religiously in Ubud. Or it’s ‘Gado-gado’. Continue reading
Kids get older. Best friends propose. Families fight. Aunties behave appallingly. Opportunities to unite and grow are quashed by a familiar unwillingness to try. Some things missed in nine months away from home. Continue reading
Eggs away! I’m letting go of dairy, eggs and fish for September. Enjoying a mostly plant based diet anyway, I’ve been irrationally granting an exception for these three animal food groups. Why? I’m not sure. It’s possible that it’s the last bastion of my psychological meaty-conditioning. Regardless, with time, I feel more and more distressed eating them. And hell, I could just eat something else. Continue reading
“They are a right pair of 80’s spunks, aren’t they.’
Collette Jane Davis
Aged 37 years and 1 day
Ubud
We are watching action, comedy, crime-bonanza, ‘Tango and Cash’. It stars the incredibly watchable, Sylvester ‘Rocky-is-a-pussy’ Stallone and the cheeky mulleteer, Kurt Russell. What have I been doing all my life? How have I never seen this? The soundtrack is astounding. And, Sly and Kurt are not the only eye-candy either: Teri Hatcher is an 80’s, lycra, mega-hottie. Late-80’s boobs are the best. In support of this claim I also cite Patrick Swayze’s sexual pinnacle, Roadhouse, another boob-laden, cinematic masterpiece released the same year. Continue reading
Waking up and writing love poems in bed in Ubud, Bali. A lovely way to start the day. This one was forged as part of a reading for a friend’s wedding. Continue reading
We enter at the ground floor and press 57. We are up in no time. I know we’re rocketing because deceleration starts at about floor 40. I’ve sold lifts for a decade but therraint many like this in Yorkshire, like. Continue reading
Singapore has loomed in the humidity like an impending hernia operation. Or some boisterous relative you’ve been avoiding until Boxing Day. Continue reading
complaints book available 