His house is OCD-amazing. It’s newly built and has a pool, a trampoline and sexy hammocks that overlook a beautifully manicured, Stepford Wives-type park. We’ve a swanky Airbnb rent with this guy in Margaret River. Ensuite, double, porn shower, fluffy towels and a clean fuckin’ dunny. The only problem is, this dude’s on meth and he’s desperate to hang out.
Day 34 Thursday 28th Dec
Well that was a rip-woofing time. I’m looking forward to my mummy and daddy coming home now. Last I heard they were in Singa-paw and on route to come and spoon me, yey! Orororororor.
I made a little video here of me at 8 months-and-a-bit old. Orororororor. I hope you, enjoy, Willowers.
‘Do we get food on the plane, babe?’
She’s no idea. We’re about to take the 3.5 hour arc from lanky Hong Kong to expensive Singapore where we’ll connect to the as yet unknown Perth. Perth – btw – sounds like purse with a lisp.
As we bank all wibbly-wobbly over the wibbly-wobbly reservoirs descending into our destination, I reminisce over my earlier idiocy. Continue reading
complaints book available 