Day 34 Thursday 28th Dec

Well that was a rip-woofing time. I’m looking forward to my mummy and daddy coming home now. Last I heard they were in Singa-paw and on route to come and spoon me, yey!  Orororororor.

I made a little video here of me at 8 months-and-a-bit old. Orororororor. I hope you, enjoy, Willowers.

Remember, you can’t catch me in real life but you can catch me on Instagram: @willow_whippet17. 

Have a great 2018.

Smell ya later.

Willow. x x x

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Day 31 Monday 25th December Christmas Day

Today I am grateful for all the things I have. I’m a whippet dog and I have the best life. I have wonderful human parents and they have left me with beautiful temporary humans for Christmas. It’s cute.

Here’s my photo interpretation of a Shane Meadows dogumentary based in Melbourne. Christmas for  a dog in suburbia.

I’m a big fan of my new ball.

And my missile launcher.

Hi, Fozzy.

Hi Leo and Max.

Oy oy, Lunar.

Such a dish. Kyo. Yummy. He looks like Han Solo.

Throw the missile again. please.

Lexi and her her human mummy.

Otis is a bit of a flirt. Thinks he’s a dapper Dan.

Look at the bendy one and the tall one.  LOL.

On route home for turnips and Christmas movies.

Have a great Christmas everyone.

Willow.

x x x

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Day 30
Sunday 24th December

Oooh well. The tall one and the bendy one woke up to a little surprise this morning. I had done quite a few sloppy poos on the patio outside. I’d done one on the little bit of park that Daddy Phil made and the rest I just did willy nilly. I wasn’t very well. Poor Willow.

I blame the tall one. He went wild at Pet Stock yesterday and bought all manner of treats. My poor belly is just too sensitive sometimes. So I was farting a lot last night in the bedroom after some kangaroo tail. The tall one thought it was funny but the bendy one said I smelled like her old piano teacher, Glen.

Anyway, this morning I’m having a little rest. The bendy one is giving me spoons. Bendy spoons. Lol. Sounds like Uri Geller. That’s before my time.

Anyway. I’m off. Need to rest and get my party, smelly bum back to normal. LOL.

Smell me later.

Willow. x x x

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Day 28
Friday 22nd

G’day Willowers. With Christmas around the corner, you’d think the tall one and the bendy one would be a bit more generous. But last night, they forgot to feed me! Can you believe that? 

I didn’t complain or anything. We went to sleep as normal. When we woke up, I knew that the tall one could smell something funny. Like body odour. He thought it was the bendy one because she had had smelly armpits the day before.

When the tall one went in the hall he found the shallot that I had stolen in the night and tried to eat. It was horrible so I left it in the floor so they knew. But at this point they still dint realise.

It wasn’t until after I’d had my breakfast that they realised I’d had no food the night before. Merry Christmas me. LOL.

I understand that mistakes happen. And I was pretty sleepy. I didn’t care too much. It was only one night. I still love them.

See you soon Willowers. Smell ya later.

Willow. x x

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Dog Blog diary day 27
Thursday 21st December

Another day another collar. Yo y’all. Orororororororor. Its’ Big Dub. Today I’ve been laying a mix down in the studio. Here I am just chilling’ between recordings.

My man, Lanky Pete came into the studio and we chilled with an L.

The track we’re laying is Melb-Urban, it goes a bit like this:

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Met a little whippet on Monday
Sniffed her up the bum on Tuesday
We were smelling bits by Wednesday
And on Thursday and Friday and Saturday
Dog Beach on Sunday

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We sampled the Baha Men’s ‘Who Let The Dogs Out’ and also, ‘Now I Wanna Be Your Dog’ by my favourite, Iggy. It’s no big deal ya’ll just got to run it through Copyright with my agents at Sony.

Yesterday, I couldn’t find green rubber pirate cactus anywhere. Though I could smell him real bad. He wasn’t under the quilt. He wasn’t in Lanky Pete’s pocket. He wasn’t behind me. I kept checking behind me. He wasn’t anywhere. Then when the bendy one came home from bending I realised all along that green rubber pirate cactus had been trapped in my collar behind my head. How silly am I? LOL

OK, I better get back in the studio y’all. This platinum album wont write itself.

Love you Willowers. Stay Real.

Big Dub.

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Dog Blog diary day 25
Tuesday 19th December

Today, I am eating all of the toilet roll. It’s just puppy stuff. Stop going on about it. Normally I eat the toilet roll tubes but today I’m eating all of the toilet roll too. I’ve got a bone and I’ve had some post walk treats. I’ve even got green rubber pirate cactus but it is not enough for the Willowmeister today. I’m eating all off the toilet roll. All of it. Ororororororororor.

Dog Blog diary day 23
Sunday 17th December

G’day Willowers. I’ve got some great pics from the park last night. Check out Daisy on the tall one’s knee. She was a it snotty. Needs to blow her nose. LOL

This is Buddy. He’s a sheep dog. He wanted to play with everyone but he was a bit boring tbh.

Pit stop.

What? Another dog!

Keeps is my favourite mate ever. Even better than Lily. We play so nice together. #smitten #happytimes #lickmyface

Oh. It’s home time. I better pretend that I have something important to do in the cricket practice nets. LOL

Moody in golden hour.  Lovin’ it. #doglife

Phwoar. Need even more water. Ororororrororororororororor.

Keep up to speed on my Instagram. @willow_whippet17

Smell ya later.

Willow.
xxx

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Dog Blog diary day 22
Saturday 16th December

G’day Willowers. Today I stink. I have been rolling in dog poo and I stink. No wonder the dogs at Dog Park didn’t play with me too much today. LOL. 

I am one smelly bitch and I think I’m going to have to have a power shower otherwise I’m going to fester in this heat and become a Billy-no-dogs.

Here are a couple of photos of last night’s play time with green rubber pirate cactus while we tried to watch Predestination again. Woof. There’ll be no more of these fun times until I’ve had a wash. LOL

p.s. Check out Lloyd Christmas on the left.

Come on. Again. #toteslol No serious. Again.

Peace out Willowers.

Have a great weekend.

Willow. x x 

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Dog Blog diary day 21
Friday 15th December

G’day Willowers. Well, I haven’t posted for the last two days for a few reasons:

1) I’m not just an asset-light, twenty first century, dogital nomad – I’m also a dog. And sometimes you’ve just got to kick back and chill out like a dog.

2) Some embarrassing stuff has happened.  And…

3) I had a little bit of a sulk. 

Number 1) kind of speaks for itself. I’ve been hanging around, walking twice a day, sleeping much and kissing the temporary humans with my wet nose whenever they’ll let me. I’m back on kangaroo meat which is my favourite all is good food-wise.

We had a long walk afternoon walk yesterday all the way to Gran Prix Bicycles on Glen Huntly Road. Who is this Glen Huntly guy? He’s all over the place. He must be some kind of human legend.

I’ve been into shredding stuff just recently. Whatever I can find. Paper. Toilet roll. The recycling. The tall one’s pens and pencils. The other day, the tall one shouted at me because I ate his favourite pen. I knew I’d done a bad and I think he had had too much coffee and he shouted. I went outside and sulked on the chair. I just stared at him from the chair through the balcony windows with my face. I was trying to communicate to him that, ‘if that’s the way you want to play it I can be an independent dog you know,’ and I think it hit home.

I didn’t sleep in the bed that night. I slept in my own bed. I needed some space. The next day I didn’t get up too quickly. I’m a sensitive bitch and when I’m hurt I’m hurt. I need some time to get over these things. After two walks I was feeling better.

Down at Dog Park I have been loving Lily. She grabs my collar and pounces on me and stuff and we have good toy fights. We are the same size so it’s cool. Chompsky has been woofing a bit to much in my face, I’m like, ‘Woah dude, take a chill pill.’  Which brings me to number 2).

Tex. Let’s talk, Tex. He’s big and hairy and when I’m playing with Lily, sometimes he comes over and tries to stick his shiny lipstick near my backside. I don’t like it. Go away, Tex, this is well rubbish. #metoo

Also, for point 2), yesterday we were at Dog Park and after I did a poo I just sat down. The temporary humans thought it was a bit weird because I wouldn’t leave but I just sat still. I was a bit ashamed. It was horrible. After my poo my poo didn’t all fall out properly. I had dangling poo from my bum. When I walked it was knocking around. I was so embarrassed. So I just sat and pretended there was nothing going on. I think Reilly saw it and maybe a cavoodle. I hope Reilly doesn’t say anything to any of the other dogs. I love Reilly, we’ve been hanging out loads. I’d hate it if all the dogs knew I had a dangly poo bum.

Point 3). My sulk resulted in the temporary humans having a bit of a sulk too. Imagine. I think we share the energies sometimes. Like if I’m upset they’ll get upset too. But we’re all still friends and I love them. I miss my mummy and daddy a bit though. Sometimes when the door goes or I hear someone near the driving school in the corridor, I think they may be coming home for me. But not yet. I hope they’re thinking of me.

Anyway. Enough. I’m back on form. Sun’s out – gun’s out. Feeling strong. Growing bigger. Got my mates at Dog Park. Got my mates at E.E. Gunn Reserve. Got my new yellow ball. Got my new poo bags. Got my treats. Got my kangaroo in the chiller. Got my water bowl. Got my favourite orange blanket. Got my temporary humans and they let me watch movies with them and hang out. I’m happy as a dog on a blanket.

Smell ya later, Willowers.

Much love

Willow x

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Dog Blog diary entry day 18
Tuesday 12th December

G’day Willowers. In the news today I can report that everything is hunky-dory and I’m as happy as a whippet with it’s nose up another whippet’s bum. Hang on… LOL

Today, the sun is shining on Dog Park like there’s no tomorrow. But there is a tomorrow. The future for this whippet is bright. The future is doggy. Yeah! Leg shot.

My new ball goes really far when the tall one kicks it so I’m getting to run really fast and really far every day. The tall one is also jogging to and from Dog Park. He thinks he’s fast but I could beat him no worries.

Here I am basking. That’s how I roll. LOL.

 

 

It got so hot today I had to take some shade near the human shelter. I wasn’t out of breath I was just hot.

Look how beautiful I am. I’ll make some whippet a lucky whippet one day. LOL.

On the way home this morning I spotted some rainbow loris. Look at this one. She was making a right racket. 🙂

OK, thanks for reading Willowers. Have another great day wherever you are.

Smell ya later.

Willow. x

 

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Dog Blog diary entry day 17
Monday 11th December

G’day Willowers. Today, I wanna talk about my toys. Let’s start with this pink elephant. That expression. What is going through his head? Look at them eyes. He’s mental. LOL.

Just last week he could make a noise and he had fluff inside. Now look at him. What happened there? What a silly billy.

This orange rubber thing is like something from a sex dungeon. What am I even supposed to do with it? Maybe this is Daddy Phil’s?

This hard plastic ball is supposed to drop treats out but there are never any in it. It’s pretty boring. I mostly ignore this one. It makes a cool sound though. Check it out.

Where am I supposed to put this? I think this came from the same place as the orange rubber thing. pffff.

But when it comes to toys there is nothing that competes with my fave. The ultimate dog toy. He’s rippled. He’s weird. He sometimes makes a sound but mostly doesn’t. I like to keep him in my mouth and then run into human’s legs with him. But who is he?

He’s green rubber pirate cactus. He’s an authentic mariner. He needs a dentist. And an optician. His nose is gnarled. His arm’s falling off. His hat is worn. He’s dirty. There’s no need for his belt as he isn’t wearing any trousers and he only ever looks up and to the right but he’s my rubber pirate cactus and I don’t know what I’d do without him. I love you free rubber pirate cactus. Thanks for being the best toy in the world.

Give him back. Give him back. Give him back. Now. Orororororororororororor.

OK smell ya later Willowers. I’m off to watch Girls on HBO.

Kisses

Willow x x x

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Dog Blog diary entry day 16
Sunday 10th December

G’day Willowers. I’ve been wanting to chew EVERYTHING in the last couple of days. Look. Her eI am with this blue studded rubbery thing. It’s ok, but it’s nowhere near as good as my green rubber pirate cactus. Check out my whippet knit-wear. I think it makes me look a little bit ski-lodge.

Whoops. I think human mummy and daddy Liz Virgo and Phil Gamage are going to be cross when they see what I did to the recycling bin in the night. I just can’t stop chewing. What’s going on? Mental! Sorry. #sadface

Oh oooohhh. Don’t tell the park warden I went on the cricket pitch. LOL. My new trick is skipping under the net to sniff it from the other side. I can get away with anything with the temporary humans. This net got sniffed. Big time. Might try and do a bit of wee in there next time.

Me and the tall one. Look. I’ve got him round my little finger. Got my new bone yesterday. Getting new food defrosting for tonight. Had all my flea treatment and worming stuff. He picks up my poos. Got it made. Doggy heaven.

Southern hemisphere rules. Yeah.

OK. I’m checking out for today. Remember, the only place you can catch me is on Instagram. whippet_willow17.

Last night of the weekend. Make it count.

Willow. x x x

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Dog Blog diary entry day 15:
Saturday 9th December

G’day Willowers. Sun’s back. Fun’s back. No dramas today in suburbia. A standard action shot here from Dog Park. This is just a canter for me. I can go faster. Obvs.

Really? Do I have to fetch it again? I can’t wait to Watch ‘Girls’ on HBO later.

Who is this absolute plonker?  Look at that tongue. And get some proper ears. LOL.

I’ve been thinking I might Elf-Myself for some Christmas E-Cards. What do you reckon? Yes or no?  LOL

OK smell ya later. Remember Willowers, you can’t keep up with me in real life but you can keep up with me on Instagram: whippet_willow17.

Bye for now.

Willow. x x x

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Dog Blog diary entry day 14:
Friday 8th December

G’day Willowers. I was super pooped last night after my 4 hour play-out down Brighton Dog Beach so last night was a bit of a right off. I slept all day after I got home and then I slept all night too. Luckily the temporary humans let me stay in the bed so I didn’t mind the rain. I was a good girl and I did my poops outside. Look at the rain. 

This morning I went out with the bendy one. The tall one’s trainers were still wet from getting my ball out of the sea. It went a bit deep in the water and I pulled my, ‘whatever, that’s well to far’ face. He had to get it himself. LOL.

Tonight I’ve been to Princess Park and met Winston and Queenie. They are sausage dogs and their human daddy is Matt who works for Glen Eira Council. Big ups to the council they do a great job supporting dogs like me, Winston Queenie with free poo bags, water fountains, and good Dog Parks and beaches so that we can have a fun time. These guys are pretty cute but pretty slow. #sillywalk #johncleese

To all the haters that have been saying that I’m getting bigger. It’s not fat. It’s called growing up. I don’t want to live my life on hang ups. I’m a whippet and I believe. Get over it.

A big up to all the Willowers who have been following my Dog Blog in the last two weeks. It’s coming up to Christmas so it’s time to remember that not all dogs are as lucky as me. I saw one dog in Dog Park today who’s human mummy didn’t even bring a ball with her. #wasteofspace

I was an independent bitch tonight. Holler y’all. The tall one pretty much left me to it and talked with Danny the Mayor of Dog Park and kicked an Aussie Rules footy. I went around and sniffed bums, did little wees, stole other dogs balls, ran a bit, rolled over, panted and sat.

Just also want to say that I don’t know what I’d do without green rubber pirate cactus. He’s my favourite at-home toy. I’ll do a feature on him in tomorrow’s blog.

OK smell ya later. Remember Willowers, you can’t keep up with me in real life but you can keep up with me on Instagram: whippet_willow17.

Bye for now.

Willow. x x x

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Dog Blog diary entry day 13:
Thursday 7th December

G’day Willowers. Another day another collar. Woof. What a morning. Absolutely been for the best adventure ever. The tall one and the bendy one jogged with me all the way to Brighton Dog Beach. And get this – we went in the unleashed section. Well awesome.  Here I am just sniffing some seaweed just before I do poo number two. 

I met Nico. He was ace. All fluffy and stuff. Not as fast as me though. And if I’m honest, a little boring. The dog walker he had was pants. Couldn’t even throw properly.

The wet stuff is pretty cold so I go in fast and then run out fast. The ball is hard to grab because it sinks under when I try and grab it and squirms away from my face. Phew. but it’s totes invigorating.

Seriously, you expect me to get that? It’s well far out. LOL.

Better let the bendy one throw it, then it won’t go as far. LOL.

I met a little dog called Mini. Sniffed her bum I’ll be honest. Now we’re bezzies. #BFF’s

Check me out going full ninja. Come on Mini. Last one to the other side of the sandy bit is a poo dog.

This photo is from my new range of dog collars. We’ve tried too achieve a moody, inquisitive yet pensive feel for the brand. It was either me or Hugh Jackman they wanted as a model. Watch this space.

OK. Thanks for reading Willowers. Good to keep in touch with my growing fans. Even though I’m going global, I don’t forget where I’m from. #princessparkrules

OK smell ya later. Remember Willowers, you can’t keep up with me in real life but you can keep up with me on Instagram: whippet_willow17.

Bye for now.

Willow. x x x

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Dog Blog diary entry day 12:
Wednesday 6th December

G’day Willowers. Another day another collar. Woof. Feeling a little more chipper today. Had some other new food which is way better with kangaroo and broccoli. I’ve got my mojo back. What’s for brekkie? LOL.

I met Milo the border collie today. He’s named after the chocolate drink powder by Nestle. He has a sister called Rafaelo named after the white chocolates (I’m not allowed them). You’d think he would be cool, being named after chocolate, but jeez she was well intense. Lazer eyes or what?

Everywhere I went he was just trying to herd me like I was a cow or something. Look at his eyes. Take a chill pill. Whatever. Just wanna play around. Leave it out. #nobantz

Met a greyhound but wasn’t that bothered. #toosensible

Vinny – the white german shepherd and Pocky – the spotty one were pretty good but they didn’t really want to play so I walked off. I didn’t wanna play anyway. So. #whatever

OK, so maybe I played with Pocky a little bit. #whoisthehottie

OK, lead time. Oh ooooh! Time to go home and snooze on my favourite blue couch, shred a carrot and dribble.

Ciao.

Remember Willowers, you can’t keep up with me in real life but you can keep up with me on Instagram: whippet_willow17.

See you tomorrow for more E-adventures of Willow. Smell ya later dawgs.

Willow x x x

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Dog Blog diary entry day 11:
Tuesday 5th December

G’day Willowers. Tuesday sucked. I got some new food and it was rubbish. It was with lamb, coconut and veggies. I didn’t really want to eat it that much so I just put the balls in my mouth and then dropped them around in different places. I think it was the new food that made me do massive wet sloppy poops as well. This one was a real mess. LOL. The temporary human had to take half the grass with to too when he picked it up because it was so wet and sloppy. And it stunk. Big time. #looksoinnocent

I spent the rest of the day moping around. I couldn’t really be bothered. Look, here I am just dragging the toilet roll out. So what.

I took some of my food anger out on this fluffy elephant. She used to have fluff inside and she used to make a noise. Now she doesn’t. LOL.

Wondering what was wrong with me, the tall one got in my house. What a plonker.

I’m lucky to have temporary humans that love me though.  Look, I fell asleep watching Girls by Lena What’sherface?

And later, when I stretched my legs out trying to get more space the bendy one got vexed. LOL.

OK, see you tomorrow. Thanks for reading. Smell ya later.

Willow. x x x

Remember Willowers, you can’t keep up with me in real life but you can keep up with me on Instagram: whippet_willow17.

 

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Dog Blog diary entry day 10:
Monday 4th December

G’day Willowers. Yesterday I was having a lux hangout with the temporary humans watching Burlesque with Christina and Cher and Bad Neighbours. I used my Seagate hard-drive straight into the fat screen. Lush.  It was well funny. Gotta love lux hangouts. But it meant I didn’t do my Dog Blog. That’s OK, now you get 2-4-1. Mintox.

Wow. Sunday fun day. I couldn’t wait for brekkie. Look I was well starving. LOL.

We went straight out to Dog Park because the sky had stopped crying. Because of the wet floor, everything was extra smelly and I sniffed everything. Big time. Also, because it’s cooler I had loads more energy. #mentalwhippet

We were all together like one big happy family. Boooya.

The ball gets a bit sloppy sometimes. #Gobstopper.

I had a little dance with this squeegee. Get a proper hair cut. LOL.

I love this action shot. I’m a big girl now. Come get me. Woof.

After Dog Park we went to the vegetable shop, the bread shop and IGA. Here I am waiting outside the vegetable shop with the tall one. It was a bit windy so we had some hugs. #megacuteorwhat

A bit bored now – get a move on, Bendy. LOL.

Why don’t they let dogs in IGA? I think it’s pretty bad. Some of the people they let in there are gross. All I want is a sniff. Jeez. #isitbecauseiisadog

I was bummed out we had to come home. But a dog’s gotta do what a dog’s gotta do.

But then we made real gangsta rap videos in the kitchen. Yes I’m a dog. The video of this ad lib rap should be available to download soon. Class. #snoop

What should my rap name be? Hit me up. Best name wins a treat.

The bendy one did yoga with her friend last night so me and the tall one chilled.
Here I am with rubber cactus pirate. What you saying?

Yeah? So?

OK smell ya later, Willowers. See you tomorrow for more Dog-Blogging when you can experience more of my life as an asset-light, dogital nomad, twenty-first century whippet. Boom.

 Willow x x x

Remember Willowers, you can’t keep up with me in real life but you can keep up with me on Instagram: whippet_willow17.

 

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Dog Blog diary entry day 9:
Sunday 3rd December

G’day Willowers.

Saturday morning was the best. The sky had been crying so the floor was all wet but we had the best ever wet hangouts on Dog Park. Wet balls days rule. My yellow ball is the best.

Sometimes the tall one with the silly face runs away from me so I have to chase after him. He’s not very fast. He runs funny. #quarterpace

I love yellow ball time at Dog Park. Look at my ears. LOL. Does my neck look fat in this?

Saturday night was a total shower-fest though. This pretty much sums up my night. I had a total lux hangout with the temporary humans. #dogandlovingit

Need. Need. Need.

OK signing out, smell ya after the rain, Willowers.

Willow. x x x

Remember Willowers, you can’t keep up with me in real life but you can keep up with me on Instagram: whippet_willow17.

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Dog Blog diary entry day 8:
Saturday 2nd December

And remember Willowers, you can’t keep up with me in real life but you can keep up with me on Instagram: whippet_willow17.

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G’day Willowers.  Woof. How time flies. I used to be 7 months old and now I’m 8 months old. Bonkers. Humans are getting sandbags out coz the sky is gonna cry a lot tomorrow. What? Hope I still get walkies. Obvs.

Because the sky was raining I had cuddles all day with the temporary humans. It was so nice. I fell asleep all day. Just snoozing and being a twenty-first century whippet.

Even stole some crisps. Don’t tell Mummy and Daddy. LOL. BBQ flavour. Next time get chicken. Obvs.

So, the best part of my day was when my human Mummy and Daddy Liz Virgo and Phil Gamage did the Whatsapps. I’m a tech-savvy dogital nomad so I roll with a canInephone on Optus Aus and we did the Whatsapps via wifi. On it. Just screen grabbed this. Totes. LOL.

The tall one with the silly face has started pestering people in the park. He wants to make a dogumentary so we took out my GoPro today and we did some extreme dogging. Check me out on the GoPro. I’m a natural. Here I am by the bench on Dog Park. Wet or what?

When you’ve got to go you’ve got to go. #justawee

My joint favourite toy – my yellow ball. Love it. When it’s wet it’s even harder to stop when I’m running and I slip. I’m still fast though.

This ginger guy was way young. Must have been like 7 months. He was so excited to see me he turned into a complete mess. Whatever. Grow up!

Lovin’ Dog Park. Yeah man.

Europeans always come out when it’s cold. I think these were Russians. Who has wool in Melbourne other than sheep? LOL. p.s. the little dog here looks calm but she was mental. Chill out.

On the way home was well good. You’ll never guess what we saw…

Yep. A fire engine. with noises and everything. It was way cool. I walked a bit nearer the wall because I wasn’t really sure about it. Hope the people in the fire are ok.

When we got home I was starving. It has been colder so I’ve had loads of energy. But the temporary humans didn’t feed me. I was like, guys, what are you doing? Come on. I can’t blog on an empty stomach. So anyway. I usually eat about 6 but I didn’t even eat until like  9.30. The tall one just forgot. I was making noises and stuff but they couldn’t work out why. The bendy one was like, has she eaten?  And the tall one had a silly face. Anyway, I’ve eaten now so I’m alright.

Smell ya later.

Willow x x x

Remember Willowers, you can’t keep up with me in real life but you can keep up with me on Instagram: whippet_willow17.

 

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Dog Blog diary entry day 7:
Friday 1st December 2017

G’day Willowers.

Just for fun, here’s a bit about me here for all my faithful Willowers:

Name: Willow Gamage
Age: 8 months old
Type: Whippet. Obvs. Whippets are the best.
Special trick: running dead fast
Dog Mummy and Daddy: Ronndal and Iliswane
Human Mummy and Daddy: Liz Virgo and Phil Gamage
Favourite movies: Catch Me If You Can. Beethoven. Turner and Hooch.
Favourite toy: either yellow ball or nobbled green rubber pirate cactus
Identifying feature: hairy moooooolllleess
Favourite food: dried chicken breast from Collars and Scents Holistic Treats in Caulfield
Lux hangout: Dog Park in Caulfield
Education: Puppy Romper Room Graduate
Job: asset-light dogital nomad,  Dog Blogger and tech savvy twenty-first century whippet.
Most annoying trait:  running into the back of humans legs with my cactus
Funniest moment: dog-dging the Hoover. LOL
Instagram page: willow_whippet17
BFFs: Lily and Dexter

The temporary humans left me last night for the first time. I had a little cry after they left. I did it loud so that I know they must have heard it in the hall as they were leaving. LOL. I had the last bit kangaroo meat and some bic-bics before they left and I had  a treat to keep me going from the paper bag. Check me out hamming up the sorrow as they left.  LOL. #shawshank #youllneverleave #oneflewoverthecuckoosnest

The sky is raining today so it’s a bit wet everywhere. I’ve got loads of energy so I’m looking forward to getting out for more skiddy time. I got in bed with the temporary humans today and fell straight asleep. Totes comfy.

There’s nowt happening just now it’s all a bit wet so we’ll just have a lux hangout in the apartment for a bit until it’s a bit more dry. Catch up on some admin. Anyone got any good book recommendations or owt for pups like me on Netflix? Hit me up.

OK woof woof. Smell ya later, Willowers.

Willow.   x x x x

Oh and remember Willowers, you can’t keep up with me in real life but you can keep up with me on Instagram: whippet_willow17.

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Dog Blog diary entry day 6:
Tbursday 30th November 2017

G’day Willowers. What can I say about living the dream as an asset-light digital nomad? Blogging every day takes its toll. Sometimes I need to paws. Check me out with my Macwoof. Too much dog-blogging today. Deffo need some chill time. Mashed. LOL.

In fact, I’ve been so tired after Dog Park today that I’ve even slept with my vagina right up in the air. Whatever. Who does that? #doggystyle

The bottom of the stairs has been pretty chill too. Jeez you lot must think I’m a right lazy bitch. It’s hot I’m telling you. #beenontworunssoshutup

Snake-gate down at Dog Park has reached boiling point with the humans. The council have been around putting signs up warning us of snakes in the area. Good job I’m a Puppy Romper Room Graduate from Caulfield Vets. I’m smart me. No snakes on me. These bushes look well-dodg though. No thanks.

The tall temporary human is a bit of a gimp. He’s taken me to the park twice now when none of my mates are there. Totally empty.  What am I supposed to do? Boring. Look at the park today. Noone. I spent twenty minutes just weeing on trees and pretending to be bothered. I so wasn’t. LOL.

Lats night was pretty funny. First we met this old guy with a water hose. What was he even doing? Ha ha. Why would you even be having a shower outside? In your clothes.  He did say I was beautiful though so I won’t wee on his wall.

The tall one was trying to run. He thinks he’s fit but he’s a joke. I’m like well fitter than he is. I’m not even out of breath. Look how red he is. Loser!!!

This is Bruce and his human daddy, Mark ‘The Fag’. Mark has funny fags that smelt not like normal ones. I’m not sure if he said, ‘doofers’ or ‘woofers’. Ha ha. That’s how he rolls. Don’t let the POLICE look in his man-bag. LMAOL. PMSL.

When one of my mates did eventually turn up at Dog Park today, look who it was. Mophead. LOL. I’m gonna nickname her Vileda.

Talking about mopping, after we got back from Dog Park, the temporary humans were doing my head right in. They had the machine that sucks everything up and they kept getting me with it. Leave it out I’m a digital nomad. I’ve got problems of my own. LOL.

OK. Feeling good. Poos are good. Wees are good. Following the tall one everywhere. What’s he up to? He’s weird. Gonna ram him with my green rubber pirate cactus. Ran out of liver treats but I’ll survive. Pretty much need to sneak into that cupboard under the sink and get one of those dried chicken breasts thingies right now. #toteslolz

Smell you later, Willowers.

W x x x

Oh and remember Willowers, you can’t keep up with me in real life but you can keep up with me on Instagram: whippet_willow17.

 

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Dog Blog diary entry day 5:
Wednesday 29th November 2017

G’day Willowers. Yesterday I was really missing my mummy and daddy. I was feeling a bit down in the dumps and grumpy so I decided to have a massive poo on the temporary humans air bed. It really was a stinky one. Even I didn’t like it. It smelt like I’d had a kebab or something. Stunk the whole flat out. LOL.

The temporary humans cleaned up my poo and washed the bedding so I did another wee in the bathroom for good measure. That’ll teach my mummy and daddy for going away. Ha ha. Wee floor wee floor. LOL.

Normal service has been resumed today though. Bingo. Look at my overnight poo. Straight on the fake park. Yeah. LMAOL. Freshandfirm.com.

Last night I went to EE Gunn Reserve. Dyso was there. I’ve met Dyson before. He’s big and heavy and he seems like he’s been on the wine. He’s all wobbly and fally-over. He’s so uncoordinated that when I was playing with him he kept falling on to me. What a dope. Ha ha. Here he is trying to wrestle me. I let him think he’s cool but I can escape if I want. LOL.

Even if Dyson was getting a bit rough, big Max the alsation was there as referee. Max is way cool. If there’s a dog problem, Max will solve it. He was keeping an eye on me while I was rolling with my homey Dyso. Thanks Max. Also, Max is way good at catching his frisby. Awesome skills Max. Woah. Yeah!

This morning the tall one dressed like a total A1 dork for Dog Park. It was totes embarrassing. Look how unimpressed I was. The shame.

Before walkies the tall one laid my walking kit out on the table. He was taking ages getting ready. Annoying.  #notimpressed #whyarewewaiting #getamoveoninmelbourne #dithering

Dog Park was off the hook today. Check out Dharma with her owner Jason. She’s a great Dane-cross. Big or what? She was originally a rescue dog. She’s in a local dog gang who wear pink neckerchiefs. That’s how she rolls. It’s awesome. She’s well nice. Look at her white socks.

Here I am meeting Cassie. She’s a dog walking professional from Woofers in Melbourne. She loves dog big time. Gizza kiss. LOL. Woof woof.

Aint no party like a Dog Park paaaarrrrtttyyyy. LOL.

Me and Lily. #bants

Cheeky snogs at Dog Park. #justflirting #notoldenoughyet

Anyways Willowers, that’s enough action for one morning. I need some Whippet nap time in the hallway next to my carrot and some ripped up paper. We were out for 2.5 hours this morning. Phew. Good job I had my suncream on my nose.

Remember Willowers, you can’t keep up with me in real life but you can keep up with me on Instagram: whippet_willow17.

Smell you later.

Willow. x x x

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Dog Blog diary entry day 4:
Tuesday 28th November 2017

‘Orrrooorrrrooorrrrooorrroooorrrooorrroooorrrroooorr’. G’day Willowers. Yep it’s another day in Melbourne. If you’re reading my Dog Blog for the first time, I’m Willow and this is my Dog Blog. I started to write because my mummy and daddy were being a bit weird. I suspected they were going to be leaving and they sure did. They were like thieves in the night with their bags and things – but I knew it. Now I’m left at home with two  weirdos. One is tall with a silly face and the other one is bendy with long hair.

It was getting dark when we went to Dog Park last night. I thought we’d never go. I’d eaten all my food quickly so I had plenty of energy but the temporary humans were making Skypes so I thought they’d forgot me.  Look at my impatient face and narrowing eyes. LOL. I sat on the bit of fake park that Daddy made to drop a big hint. It did the trick.  #impatientface LOL.

Because it was getting dark the ball was quite hard to see – so I just ran in a circle right around the park for ages. I kept going. Really fast. People on the park were wooping and cheering at my speed. I felt like the best dog in the world. It was one of the best days of my life. LOL.

This morning I have been playing with my squeaky, green, rubber cactus. I’ve been pressing it into the tall one’s face in bed and then jumping on his head. A lot. I like it. It’s fun. I’ve also been holding it in my mouth and just running into the tall ones legs so the rubber cactus squeaks. He seems to like it.

The bendy one took me out this morning. Here’s my notes from my canInephone:

– went jogging with the bendy one. She wanted to run all the time and I just wanted to sniff everyone’s wee and make sure I wee’d in lots of places so everyone would know who I was and where I’d been.

 

There was a bee this morning that was not very well. She had fallen off the wall and was in my patio area. I made noises to make the temporary humans aware and they came and moved the bee from my area. I was very worried about the bee. I wanted her to live but I thing she had had her best days and maybe this was the end of the road for her.

Anyways, I’ve just had some liver puppy rewards as treats and now I’m wondering how to pass the time while the humans are working. I’m looking forward to being at Dog Park later.

Remember Willowers, you can’t keep up with me in real life but you can keep up with me on Instagram: whippet_willow17.

See you tomorrow for more whippet capers.

Willow x x x

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Dog Blog diary entry day 3:
Monday 27th November 2017

G’day Willowers. After a bit of a tough start to my first day away from my human mummy and daddy, the end of the day was much better. Dog Park was much more fun last night. Look at me in the photo. I’ve still got my red lead on here but I took it off pretty soon after this and got busy meeting all my mates.

Last night I met Dexter. Dexter is older than me so he isn’t as much fun as I am but he looks like me. Maybe we’re related a bit. We had a kiss. Look. Other dogs couldn’t keep up when he ran but I could. I was even faster than him. I think he likes me but he was playing it cool.

There were some Chinese whispers flying around about a puppy dying on Dog Park because of a bite from a brown snake in the bushes. I’ll be careful to stay inside the park and I overheard the tall one with the silly face saying he will throw the ball in another direction so I stay safe.

The bendy one with the long hair was asleep when I got back from Dog Park so I stayed in the lounge with the tall one with the silly face until about 11pm. Apparently you can get pinot grigio for just six dollars in the shop below so the tall one is happy.

Look at how happy I am here with my morning air bed hugs. I’d just been saying to the tall one,

‘Orrrrooorooorrooorooorrr ooorrrooorrrooor  ooorrrroor
oorrrrooorrrr  orroorroorrrooorrrroroooorrrrrooorrrr.’ 

The bendy one with the long hair came to Dog Park this morning. She is a terrible thrower. She even forgot to let go of the ball with one throw. Dog Park is great because I get to meet all of my mates and the tall one with the silly face and the bendy one with the long hair get to meet all the local dog mummies and daddies. The bendy one has just gone to a bendy class with a dog mummy from Dog Park. How cool is that?

Look at the bendy one here. She tries to throw the ball one way and it goes the other. And not very far. I think she has a problem with her arm. It looks strange when she tries. She isn’t as good at throwing as the tall one with the silly face.

This is a bit embarrassing. Lol. Here’s my mate Lily. The tall one with the funny face just caught me at the wrong time. It looks like I’m smelling Lily’s bum or something but I’m not. I promise. I was looking for my yellow ball. Where is it? Lol.

Lily is fast like me. She is like a whippet but she is not a whippet too. Her mummy lived on a farm and apparently her mummy is a kelpy but she did it with a greyhound-whippet. Naughty mummy. Lol. It’s all happening at the farm.

There was some news about the puppy who was bitten by a snake this morning. The snake wasn’t at Dog Park so that’s good news. Phew. I heard the tall one with the silly face talking to Dave who is Pumba’s daddy. Dave said that the snake bite happened earlier before the dog came to Dog Park. So Dog Park is safe.

Here’s Pumba. I run fast in a straight line but Pumba runs slow and up and down. Up and down and bouncy around. She’s a bit silly but I still love her. She’s all hairy. But she could never get the ball first – even when I started from dead far back.

Here’s me and the bendy one with the long hair on the way home. Notice how I’m out in front to make sure everything gets smelt properly first before we go anywhere.

Hug time. I love a good hug me. Here I am getting some good hug action at Dog Park. We’ll try to get to EE Gun Reserve later. See if there are some different mates to sniff, jump over, run under, agitate, provoke, nibble, jump up to, chase, roll around with and submit to. Yeah!

See you tomorrow Willowers. And remember,  you can’t keep up with me in real life but you can keep up with me on Instagram: whippet_willow17.

Signing out for now.

Willow. x x x

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Dog Blog diary entry day 2:
Sunday 26th November 2017

It’s day two of my Dog Blog. And I knew it! Mummy and Daddy have left me. Late in the night they snook out with bags so I guess they are going away for some time. I hope that they come back soon. 

I was missing them so I slept on their bed after they had left. Because I was a bit worried too, I did three poos overnight. The first two poos I did on the small bit of dog-park Daddy made especially for poos. The third poo was a bit sloppy so I did that one on the patio because I didn’t want to ruin Daddy’s dog-park. It’s ok though, the tall one with the silly face cleaned it up. I watched him from through the plastic flap. Look, here’s my poos.

I had some kangaroo meat for breakfast and a spoon of dry food. It was nice. I ate all of the kangaroo meat but I left some of the dry biscuit-y bits for later on. I know it gets boring when people put pictures of their food on social media but look at this. Bonza!

For walks I took the tall one with the silly face to dog park. It was nice because it wasn’t too hot today and it was more wet on the floor. Super skiddy time. I think the sky had been crying for Mummy and Daddy going away.  When we arrived there were some big dogs. They were boxers and they were a bit big. One of them kept grabbing me round the ribs and trying to insert his thingy into my special bits. I played with them but they were a bit rough so we went to the other side of the park where there was another dog who I’ve played with before. We had lots of fun running in circles and jumping over each other and smelling each other’s special bits.

The sky started crying some more in the end so we came back. I was hoping that Mummy and Daddy would be there when I got back so I did spinaroonies at the door but they weren’t there. The bendy one with long hair washed me and dried me but I needed to do it a bit more myself so I did it on my couch with my favourite orange Willowmat. Look.

Just in case Mummy and Daddy come home I keep running to their bed and looking for them but I haven’t found them yet. If there is a noise I run to check if it’s them. I’ll let you know if they come back. Me on Mummy and Daddy’s bed. #sadface

The bendy one has given me some treats because I’ve had a tough morning and she’s put some special music on for me which is coming from the lamp. My treat’s yummy. I had a duck stick and two little chicken liver treats.

I’m on the couch now. It’s great. I love my Mummy and Daddy. They’ve gone but I know they’ll come back for me. And the tall one with the silly face and the bendy one with the long hair are nice. I’m a bit more relaxed now.

Bye for now. I’ll update my Dog Blog tomorrow after morning walkies.

I nearly forgot, you can’t keep up with me in real life but you can keep up with me on Instagram: whippet_willow17.

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Dog Blog diary entry day 1:
Saturday 25th November 2017

Hello there everybody. My name is Willow Gamage. I’m a certified pedigree whippet dog. I was born on April 2nd 2017 so I’m 7 months and three quarters-old. A big girl. My doggy mummy and daddy are called Ronndal and Iliswane. My family are very special and have won many awards for being fast. They live in Shepparton which is near Melbourne in Australia.

I live with my human mummy and daddy. My human mummy and daddy are called Liz Virgo and Phil Gamage. Here we are at the beach when I was four months old. Daddy is 35 years old and Mummy Liz is 34 years old. Daddy is on the left and Mummy is on the right.

We all live together in a nice flat near the art shop. I love Mummy and Daddy. Our flat is  near a busy road so I have to be careful. Daddy Phil built me a special wooden penthouse especially for me. No one in my family has ever had a house as good as mine. I’m very lucky. Look here it is. It’s near the window.

I love my special penthouse but I also love sleeping in the en-suite bathroom next to Daddy Phil and Mummy Liz’s bedroom so I can keep an eye on them at night. It’s also easier to jump in their bed for morning toe licks and ear sniffs. They take me on walks to the dog park where I get to meet lots of other dogs. Phil gives me lots of treats from my special box. I’ve just had a dried chicken breast from my special paper bag from the cupboard under the kettle.

I get the feeling that something strange is about to happen. Mummy and Daddy have some new friends that have arrived. One is really nice and bendy with long hair and the other one is really tall with a silly face. The new friends have been taking me for walks and Mummy and Daddy have been buying extra food and packing bags. They haven’t told me but I think Mummy and Daddy are going away. I’ll be sad but I think that the new people will look after me until Mummy and Daddy get back.

OK, well that’s enough for now. I’ll write more tomorrow after my walk and let you know what’s going on. Bye bye. See you tomorrow Willowers.

I nearly forgot, you can’t keep up with me in real life but you can keep up with me on Instagram: whippet_willow17

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